I am someone who dislikes when I’m angry. Sadness, I can handle. Anger eats away at me and disables me. One day, I heard someone ask what part you play in your anger. I hated that. It’s not about me, it’s about that asshole that ruined my day. It’s not my fault. But after thinking about that question a little longer, I confronted the harsh truth. My anger is my fault. No one made me angry.

Now, this way of thinking is not for the weak of heart. It’s a hard truth to listen to. Now, every time I feel angry, I ask myself “what is it about myself that is making me angry?” Typically, there is something about myself that is contributing to the anger. Whether it is jealousy, misunderstanding, ego, judgement on my end, or lack of empathy. Although people do bad things that make me angry; at the end of the day, I am the one who controls my anger and how I let their actions effect me.

I am someone who gives a lot. Sometimes I give what I do not have. Ill get angry when it’s not reciprocated or appreciated. This is the most recent truth that I have come face to face with. I am the one who has decided to give. I am the one who chooses to give. I am the one who cares. That is what is important and that is why I do what I do. I feel that it is right and I feel like I need to contribute where I can. And giving is not about receiving or even recognition. That is not the purpose of giving. The purpose of giving is exactly that – GIVING. If you don’t agree with that, then you should really do some soul searching.

At the end of the day, I can go to sleep knowing that I gave what I could to who I could. I can’t tell you what the other end’s day looks like. That isn’t my burden to carry. Not everything deserves a reaction. You are more responsible for your happiness than you would like to think.

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