Being broke

Why does no one like to admit to being broke? It’s embarrassing, I suppose.

I’m not talking about the kind of broke that has a nice savings account. I’m talking about the broke that can barely pay bills.

I think a lot of us are struggling more than we lead on. My partner and I have great full time jobs that pay well over minimum wage, we live in an inexpensive apartment, and don’t do anything ever. Yet, we are still living paycheck to paycheck. No one talks about it though, so we feel ashamed.

I don’t really have eloquent words or valuable lesson. I just want to say being broke is awful, so don’t make it worse by feeling ashamed by it.

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Dear son

Dear Son,

It was a year ago today that I found out I would meet you in eight months.

I showed your father the pregnancy tests and I had never seen anyone in such awe. Truly. They say fathers don’t really become fathers until the baby is there in his hands, but your father fell in love with you as soon as he knew about you. He has been wanting to throw the football around with you & talk to you about how school has been going years before you were born.

You, son, are the scariest & most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. I have never felt so vulnerable, to love this little boy so much.

Your father and I have given up everything because that is what parents do, and we would give up everything ten times over if that meant having you.

So, please remember how unconditionally loved you are. When you are fighting with us about homework or chores, when you are having troubles, or when you are scared – please remember that we love you with such entirety & nothing will change that.

Fear of being rejected

I am six days shy of having this blog for a month. It has done way better than I anticipated. That’s the problem. I know you’re thinking, “that’s the best problem I’ve ever heard & you’re kind of annoying.”

I have always had a very backwards way of thinking. The more I have, the more I can lose. I see my stats going up every day and it genuinely gives me anxiety. The pressure is on to put out good, valuable information.

I see it as the more viewers I get, the more hate I will get. I, personally, have been struggling with the idea of being rejected – sob story, I know. I believe that is one of my greatest and dumbest fears. I have removed promoting my blog on my Facebook, due to being afraid of being rejected by people I know personally. Honestly, I find that pathetic.

So just an encouraging word to myself and to writers who feel the same: fuck ’em.

 

Being your own Valentine

Valentine’s Day is a nice day. Flowers, chocolates, pretty cards. To be honest, my partner feeling obligated to give me flowers & chocolates isn’t a good feeling. I would rather have small gestures NOT on Valentine’s Day, so that I know it is voluntary & he is doing it because he loves me.

Years when I didn’t have a Valentine, I bought little pink, heart shaped cakes & flowers. I watched Bridesmaids to relate, THEN give myself hope that I’ll get pulled over by an officer & find love. The morning after Valentine’s Day, I bought myself all chocolate on clearance. I enjoyed the hell out of Valentine’s Day because I took care of myself.

Valentine’s Day as a couple is kind of awful. We should always make each other feel special & do nice things for them – not expect or feel obligated to spend your entire paycheck on one certain day. I think it’s the simple things as a couple that speaks the loudest. Making coffee & cinnamon buns for breakfast, going to the park, and making Valentine’s Day cards for each other – personally, that would mean more to me.

What are your Valentine’s Day plans?!

Doubting your writing

As a writer, it is extremely hard to consistently post work… that’s actually worth a second look. What is even harder is trusting your instinct.

I have read posts about how to have a successful blog. Some said don’t post everyday, because you are wasting your breath on a piece that no one will read. That, personally, just doesn’t make sense to me and it goes against what I feel is right for me. They also say stay with a certain theme, which I understand to an extent. Why do we have to follow guidelines as a creative writer?

My point is, is that we, as writers, have to trust ourselves. We know what we are capable of. We should write about what we want to write about, because that is when our passion shows through our work. That is when we can truly reach out to our audience.

Anyone who has been a great success and has stood out in history has gone against the grain. They did what everyone said was impossible. They were different; they knew what they were capable of when no one else did. Be yourself, do what you feel passionate about, and your audience will find you.

8 ways to navigate your relationship

1. Complete honesty. If you made an “uh oh,” don’t make another “uh oh” by lying about it. Do not try to protect their feelings using a lie. Trust is something that is not easily recovered. If they lose trust, even though they forgive you, they cannot make themselves trust you again.

2. Kindness. Duh. We need kind words constantly and we look to our partners for support and comfort. Give them that.

3. Make them coffee, let them sleep in, leave them sweet notes, buy them little reminders that you love them. Follow up those kind words by showing them you mean it.

4. Forgiveness. Everyone is going to mess up – You are going to mess up & anyone you ever have a relationship is going to mess up. So forgive who you love, because love isn’t easily found.

5. Compromise. Netflix, dinner, weekend plans, date ideas, whatever it may be – it is not all about you.

6. Respect. When you argue, if you speak respectfully, it is more likely that you will resolve the problem instead of creating new ones. Just because you are comfortable with each other doesn’t mean you can be an asshole, then be forgiven. One day they won’t be so forgiving.

7. Know your partner. Know that they are easily angered when stressed, know that they startled easily, know that they need you to ask how their day was. Know these things so you can take care of your partner accordingly.

8. Expect to not like them sometimes. It’s not always going to be great, no matter who you are with. So be patient with yourself & your partner, knowing that relationships have ups and downs.

Is there anything that you, personally, find important to keeping a relationship afloat?