Struggling through

I didn’t post yesterday because I didn’t have a second of rest.

I kept thinking about it & was angry at myself for letting a day go by.

I’m realizing that I need to give myself a break. I’ve done really well within a month with this blog, in my personal opinion.

I’m about to be a part time student, I have a full time job as a nanny, and I’m a full time mother to a 4 month old.

Taking all of that on, I need to keep in mind that just because I have a set back, doesn’t mean I failed. I’m an aggressive go-getter who is extremely hard on herself.

Is anyone else a little too hard on themselves?

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Being broke

Why does no one like to admit to being broke? It’s embarrassing, I suppose.

I’m not talking about the kind of broke that has a nice savings account. I’m talking about the broke that can barely pay bills.

I think a lot of us are struggling more than we lead on. My partner and I have great full time jobs that pay well over minimum wage, we live in an inexpensive apartment, and don’t do anything ever. Yet, we are still living paycheck to paycheck. No one talks about it though, so we feel ashamed.

I don’t really have eloquent words or valuable lesson. I just want to say being broke is awful, so don’t make it worse by feeling ashamed by it.

Dear son

Dear Son,

It was a year ago today that I found out I would meet you in eight months.

I showed your father the pregnancy tests and I had never seen anyone in such awe. Truly. They say fathers don’t really become fathers until the baby is there in his hands, but your father fell in love with you as soon as he knew about you. He has been wanting to throw the football around with you & talk to you about how school has been going years before you were born.

You, son, are the scariest & most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. I have never felt so vulnerable, to love this little boy so much.

Your father and I have given up everything because that is what parents do, and we would give up everything ten times over if that meant having you.

So, please remember how unconditionally loved you are. When you are fighting with us about homework or chores, when you are having troubles, or when you are scared – please remember that we love you with such entirety & nothing will change that.

8 ways to navigate your relationship

1. Complete honesty. If you made an “uh oh,” don’t make another “uh oh” by lying about it. Do not try to protect their feelings using a lie. Trust is something that is not easily recovered. If they lose trust, even though they forgive you, they cannot make themselves trust you again.

2. Kindness. Duh. We need kind words constantly and we look to our partners for support and comfort. Give them that.

3. Make them coffee, let them sleep in, leave them sweet notes, buy them little reminders that you love them. Follow up those kind words by showing them you mean it.

4. Forgiveness. Everyone is going to mess up – You are going to mess up & anyone you ever have a relationship is going to mess up. So forgive who you love, because love isn’t easily found.

5. Compromise. Netflix, dinner, weekend plans, date ideas, whatever it may be – it is not all about you.

6. Respect. When you argue, if you speak respectfully, it is more likely that you will resolve the problem instead of creating new ones. Just because you are comfortable with each other doesn’t mean you can be an asshole, then be forgiven. One day they won’t be so forgiving.

7. Know your partner. Know that they are easily angered when stressed, know that they startled easily, know that they need you to ask how their day was. Know these things so you can take care of your partner accordingly.

8. Expect to not like them sometimes. It’s not always going to be great, no matter who you are with. So be patient with yourself & your partner, knowing that relationships have ups and downs.

Is there anything that you, personally, find important to keeping a relationship afloat?

Wear that struggle

When you sweat profusely at the gym, don’t you feel like a total badass? You’re walking around looking tired as hell, clothes drenched, you’re glistening in the florescent gym lighting. You’re checking in on Facebook “puttin’ in work 💪🏻” and taking your gym selfie. You walk around with confidence that say “yep, I did that. I worked hard as hell, bettering myself.” Something that’s actually pretty gross, we wear with pride.

So tell me, why don’t we wear our dark undereyes with pride? Why don’t we walk into that local coffee shop looking tired as hell? Why don’t we walk around with a confidence that says “Hey, I just got done crying. But I got out of bed, so can I get a quad espresso?” Mamas aren’t wearing their breast milk drenched shirt around like a medal. Those who are going through divorce aren’t flaunting their tearful, red eyes.

You should wear your hard times with pride. They are called “hard times” for a reason – because it’s hard! You’re still getting out of bed, you’re handling your shit, and you are still here. “Oh well, everyone goes through hard times. It’s nothing to give attention to.” Uh, hell yeah it is. Let’s not sell ourselves short here! Let’s be proud of ourselves more often and say “I’m going through something right now, the stress is unbelievable, but I’m bettering myself and I’m still going.”

Stop hiding what you find to be a weakness, because it’s actually your strength being put to the test. You’re dealing with your problems and that is admirable. Leave the concealer alone, keep cold towels off of those red eyes, and stop trying to fit into those NONE-pregnancy jeans (just embrace the stretchy band). Be kind to yourself so you can be kind to others.

Let’s connect & let’s bond over how hard life is. So tell me, what are you going through? What struggle are you proud of?

I want to hear from you

I want to know what you like to read, as far as blog posts go. Current events? Quirky pieces? Tips? New trends? What do you relate to? Does it need to be lighthearted? I’m listening, so that I can write! Help a fellow blogger out!

Passion ain’t just for Nicolas Sparks novels

“Quality over quantity.” It’s a good saying for those of us who don’t have much, yeah? It is true, though. What would life be if you lived to be 100 years old, but you never once lived with intention. You survived, you stuck around, but you never lived. You were in a metaphorical coffin by the age of eighteen.

You learned the importance of money quickly & decided that being an artist will never pay the bills. You met a man who didn’t have anything to offer & left him for man with a bright future. He could give you what you needed. You soon learned that you needed love & he couldn’t put that on his credit card for you. You survived, but you didn’t live. You stepped into that coffin the second you told yourself “happiness won’t pay my bills.”

You learned the importance of money quickly & you learned the importance of happiness even quicker. You decided that life without passion is no life at all. You met a man who didn’t have anything to offer except for his love & support, but that was what you needed. You burned the metaphorical coffin the second you told yourself “life without passion is no life at all.”

I have caught myself just surviving, staying with jobs because they made enough money. I’ve put passions of mine aside, because they didn’t provide me with an income. Society’s idea of success can turn passionate people in slaves of survival. Do not lose your passion for life, for your art, for people. Without passion, we can only survive.