There will always be wolves amongst the sheep

Man, oh man, am I glad that my computer remembered my password to this blog. I haven’t written in so long that I was pleasantly surprised my blog’s name. Casual Compositions. Nice. Anyway – I’m over here having a whole ass crisis. I started an Etsy business like every other stay at home mom. Little did I know, that starting this business would create an uproar inside of my head.

About three months ago, I decided to leave my part time job slingin’ coffee to sell vintage. I don’t know if people are lying to me when they say “wow, that’s so cool!” However, I do know, that I would absolutely lie to someone under the circumstances of them staring directly into eyes and me not wanting to break their creative spirit and drive. I recently made a Facebook page for my Etsy. I sent everyone on my friends list an invitation. I, very quickly, realized that this was equivalent to presenting a project in front of everyone from your 5th grade best friend’s grandma to your ex-boss who sent you a breast pump about two years ago.

I remember a conversation I had with my mom as soon as I started my business. I called, and with a very serious demeanor, I said: “mom, I have deep rooted trust issues.” What does my mother say? She said, in the most upbeat manner possible, “good for you!” Now, this was not the response I was expecting. I honestly didn’t even know where she was going with that. She explained to me that I’m smart enough and I have been through enough to understand that most people aren’t trustworthy. She gave me an example; if someone burns you, are you going to trust them? No, you’d be a fool.

At this point, I am thinking: the hardest part to cope with about my trust issues isn’t that I’m wrong… It’s that I’m right. When I send Facebook invites to my 8th grade Spanish teacher, I know he’s going to remember how I skipped class and would say something like “this is where skipping class gets you – Etsy.” When I post four to six photos on my Instagram, there are going to be people who will unfollow me because I am dreadfully annoying. There are going to be family members who think “there’s no way in hell that’s going to go anywhere” and that is going to be ok.

There is a question I always ask myself when I am putting a lot of work into something. “Would you still be doing this, if you never got any credit for doing it?” This really puts my motives into perspective. Are you doing it because you love it or because it looks good on you? Your success isn’t a sweater from H&M. Your success is for you. It is only for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Doubting your writing

As a writer, it is extremely hard to consistently post work… that’s actually worth a second look. What is even harder is trusting your instinct.

I have read posts about how to have a successful blog. Some said don’t post everyday, because you are wasting your breath on a piece that no one will read. That, personally, just doesn’t make sense to me and it goes against what I feel is right for me. They also say stay with a certain theme, which I understand to an extent. Why do we have to follow guidelines as a creative writer?

My point is, is that we, as writers, have to trust ourselves. We know what we are capable of. We should write about what we want to write about, because that is when our passion shows through our work. That is when we can truly reach out to our audience.

Anyone who has been a great success and has stood out in history has gone against the grain. They did what everyone said was impossible. They were different; they knew what they were capable of when no one else did. Be yourself, do what you feel passionate about, and your audience will find you.