Struggling through

I didn’t post yesterday because I didn’t have a second of rest.

I kept thinking about it & was angry at myself for letting a day go by.

I’m realizing that I need to give myself a break. I’ve done really well within a month with this blog, in my personal opinion.

I’m about to be a part time student, I have a full time job as a nanny, and I’m a full time mother to a 4 month old.

Taking all of that on, I need to keep in mind that just because I have a set back, doesn’t mean I failed. I’m an aggressive go-getter who is extremely hard on herself.

Is anyone else a little too hard on themselves?

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8 ways to navigate your relationship

1. Complete honesty. If you made an “uh oh,” don’t make another “uh oh” by lying about it. Do not try to protect their feelings using a lie. Trust is something that is not easily recovered. If they lose trust, even though they forgive you, they cannot make themselves trust you again.

2. Kindness. Duh. We need kind words constantly and we look to our partners for support and comfort. Give them that.

3. Make them coffee, let them sleep in, leave them sweet notes, buy them little reminders that you love them. Follow up those kind words by showing them you mean it.

4. Forgiveness. Everyone is going to mess up – You are going to mess up & anyone you ever have a relationship is going to mess up. So forgive who you love, because love isn’t easily found.

5. Compromise. Netflix, dinner, weekend plans, date ideas, whatever it may be – it is not all about you.

6. Respect. When you argue, if you speak respectfully, it is more likely that you will resolve the problem instead of creating new ones. Just because you are comfortable with each other doesn’t mean you can be an asshole, then be forgiven. One day they won’t be so forgiving.

7. Know your partner. Know that they are easily angered when stressed, know that they startled easily, know that they need you to ask how their day was. Know these things so you can take care of your partner accordingly.

8. Expect to not like them sometimes. It’s not always going to be great, no matter who you are with. So be patient with yourself & your partner, knowing that relationships have ups and downs.

Is there anything that you, personally, find important to keeping a relationship afloat?

5 reasons why winter is the absolute worst

1. It takes you an extra 25 minutes to leave the house. That includes dressing in a coat, gloves, scarf, etc. Also warming up your car prior to getting in – which is illegal where I live. The cold is pushing me into becoming a criminal. Then scraping the ice or snow off of my car is always a fun little game. Will I lose my fingers to frostbite or not?

2. You can’t look good. Anything that looks good isn’t warm enough and you’ll die of hypothermia. So go ahead and put that big coat, mismatched gloves, and ugly hat on because you’re gonna be warm as hell.

3. Car accidents. Driving is extra dangerous & I’m already awful at driving in the snow. Plus, I’m an anxious passenger. Trust no one. There was a 100 car pile up in Missouri on Sunday and that is fucked up.

4. The air is so dry. I have a nose bleed every other day. I never had a nose bleed in my life until I moved to this frozen hell. My skin hurts. My lips are permanently chapped.

5. People are prone to depression in the winter. Enough said. What kind of devil season does that to people?!

What is your winter like? Do you have a winter?

Wear that struggle

When you sweat profusely at the gym, don’t you feel like a total badass? You’re walking around looking tired as hell, clothes drenched, you’re glistening in the florescent gym lighting. You’re checking in on Facebook “puttin’ in work 💪🏻” and taking your gym selfie. You walk around with confidence that say “yep, I did that. I worked hard as hell, bettering myself.” Something that’s actually pretty gross, we wear with pride.

So tell me, why don’t we wear our dark undereyes with pride? Why don’t we walk into that local coffee shop looking tired as hell? Why don’t we walk around with a confidence that says “Hey, I just got done crying. But I got out of bed, so can I get a quad espresso?” Mamas aren’t wearing their breast milk drenched shirt around like a medal. Those who are going through divorce aren’t flaunting their tearful, red eyes.

You should wear your hard times with pride. They are called “hard times” for a reason – because it’s hard! You’re still getting out of bed, you’re handling your shit, and you are still here. “Oh well, everyone goes through hard times. It’s nothing to give attention to.” Uh, hell yeah it is. Let’s not sell ourselves short here! Let’s be proud of ourselves more often and say “I’m going through something right now, the stress is unbelievable, but I’m bettering myself and I’m still going.”

Stop hiding what you find to be a weakness, because it’s actually your strength being put to the test. You’re dealing with your problems and that is admirable. Leave the concealer alone, keep cold towels off of those red eyes, and stop trying to fit into those NONE-pregnancy jeans (just embrace the stretchy band). Be kind to yourself so you can be kind to others.

Let’s connect & let’s bond over how hard life is. So tell me, what are you going through? What struggle are you proud of?

Passion ain’t just for Nicolas Sparks novels

“Quality over quantity.” It’s a good saying for those of us who don’t have much, yeah? It is true, though. What would life be if you lived to be 100 years old, but you never once lived with intention. You survived, you stuck around, but you never lived. You were in a metaphorical coffin by the age of eighteen.

You learned the importance of money quickly & decided that being an artist will never pay the bills. You met a man who didn’t have anything to offer & left him for man with a bright future. He could give you what you needed. You soon learned that you needed love & he couldn’t put that on his credit card for you. You survived, but you didn’t live. You stepped into that coffin the second you told yourself “happiness won’t pay my bills.”

You learned the importance of money quickly & you learned the importance of happiness even quicker. You decided that life without passion is no life at all. You met a man who didn’t have anything to offer except for his love & support, but that was what you needed. You burned the metaphorical coffin the second you told yourself “life without passion is no life at all.”

I have caught myself just surviving, staying with jobs because they made enough money. I’ve put passions of mine aside, because they didn’t provide me with an income. Society’s idea of success can turn passionate people in slaves of survival. Do not lose your passion for life, for your art, for people. Without passion, we can only survive.

The news is depressing

I used to tell myself that I didn’t watch or read the news because it was depressing and out of my hands. I’m sure 80 percent of you agree with me, but I know you like to pretend like Buzzfeed counts. I admit it was pure ignorance. What I was really saying was “I’m not going to listen or read because it affects me, personally, in a negative way. It makes me sad, angry, and feel completely helpless.” Again, ignorance. I love to wear rose-colored glasses, watching happy little news stories on Facebook. And that’s it.

Yes, I do believe the news is depressing, but what makes me so important to where I can’t be inconvenienced by OTHER’S afflictions? How selfish can I get? Do I turn my back on the problems because it’s easier to forget or even deny that they exist? You may say, “Hannah, the news is all over my Facebook.” Did you know that Facebook only shows you what they think you will like? Not only are you filtering the truth with pure opinion thanks to Buzzfeed & Feminist Blogs, but also – you’re not exposed to what’s going on in it’s entirety. (I love Buzzfeed AND Feminist blogs, don’t attack me).

It is hard to believe that we can make a difference, purely by informing ourselves. As one person, it seems like we don’t have a lot of leverage. We have to plant one tree at a time, before we can have a thriving forest & self-sustaining ecosystem. We cannot change what we do not know and we cannot help our community while being un OR mis-informed.

The pain is there, you just can’t see it

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For the majority of my life, I lived in Virginia Beach, Virginia. There was a lot of tourists, military, city life, etc. On weekends, when I was about 10-14 years old, my parents used to take me down to Gaston, North Carolina. This place, at my young age, was dreadfully boring. There was a Piggly Wiggly (grocery store) down the gravel road and a Dollar General. We would also go into town to go to Walmart. Ooh, fancy, yeah? Needless to say, there wasn’t too much going on down there.

On a few occasions, I remember my dad sitting outside with me to watch meteor showers. I had never seen them because of the light pollution in the city; this was all strange & new to me. I remember being wrapped up in a blanket just staring up at the stars; there were so many. My 12 year old self thought: “Shit, I’m small.” Then, I got back to the city, forgetting about the stars and remembering how my life is so hard because my room was messy, I had a twenty five page paper due the next day, & classmates are assholes. I was no longer small and my problems were no longer comparatively insignificant.

Out of sight out of mind, right? I think we, as humans, make that mistake quite often. Of course, we have bigger issues that are out of sight such as global warming, war, poverty, starvation, etc. We do not have those issues nor do we see them first-hand, so we tend to live as if they don’t exist. How awful is that? That we tend to live as if our problems are of the utmost importance, even though there are people who are plagued with worry every single day because they don’t know if they will survive.

Let’s make it even more relatable for you. That person you cut off because they were driving the speed limit (we all know you can go five miles over the limit) just found out that her mother passed away. You didn’t witness it though, so it didn’t happen. That woman with all that plastic surgery you just degraded? Her mother made her believe she wasn’t worth anything until she was skinny & beautiful. But, you didn’t witness that, so it didn’t happen. The barista that you complained to the manager about because he is extra slow? He can’t pay his rent this month and is facing eviction. Yet again, you didn’t witness it, so it didn’t happen.

Let’s stop being so horribly ignorant. Can we, please, start living life as if we know nothing? Reason being, we don’t know the problems people face. So everyone, live with kindness in your heart and stop feeling so self-important. Remember that the stars are there, we just can’t see them.