8 ways to navigate your relationship

1. Complete honesty. If you made an “uh oh,” don’t make another “uh oh” by lying about it. Do not try to protect their feelings using a lie. Trust is something that is not easily recovered. If they lose trust, even though they forgive you, they cannot make themselves trust you again.

2. Kindness. Duh. We need kind words constantly and we look to our partners for support and comfort. Give them that.

3. Make them coffee, let them sleep in, leave them sweet notes, buy them little reminders that you love them. Follow up those kind words by showing them you mean it.

4. Forgiveness. Everyone is going to mess up – You are going to mess up & anyone you ever have a relationship is going to mess up. So forgive who you love, because love isn’t easily found.

5. Compromise. Netflix, dinner, weekend plans, date ideas, whatever it may be – it is not all about you.

6. Respect. When you argue, if you speak respectfully, it is more likely that you will resolve the problem instead of creating new ones. Just because you are comfortable with each other doesn’t mean you can be an asshole, then be forgiven. One day they won’t be so forgiving.

7. Know your partner. Know that they are easily angered when stressed, know that they startled easily, know that they need you to ask how their day was. Know these things so you can take care of your partner accordingly.

8. Expect to not like them sometimes. It’s not always going to be great, no matter who you are with. So be patient with yourself & your partner, knowing that relationships have ups and downs.

Is there anything that you, personally, find important to keeping a relationship afloat?

It’s Tinder for mamas

It’s called Peanut, which I think is a horribly misleading name. It should be called Uncomfortable, but Worth a Try. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me tell you about a heinous, yet hilarious concept. We have a dating app, moms. We can swipe up or down on mamas near us. Now, we don’t just base our judgements off of pictures and bios; they came up with nifty (hilarious) little mommy badges. Let me explain.

Now, these badges of honor are my favorite part of Peanut. You can pick three for your profile and they consist of: hot mess, sleep deprived, spiritual gangster, always on vacay, mom boss, wine time, geek chic, fashion killa, dance machine, strictly organic, routine queen, outdoorsy, Dr. Google, neighborhood newbie, fitness fiend, but first food, bookworm, thrifty, adrenaline junkie, special needs, single mama, crafty, adventurous, city gal, home bird, powered by caffeine, fluent in emoji, charitable, science savvy, music is medicine, LGBTQ, beer buddy, and mama of multiples. There are a few that interest (confuse) me.

First of all, that the hell is a spiritual gangster? Are you spiritual, yet still likely to hold a gun to my head when we meet for coffee? Please clarify why you identify with this title. Next is always on vacation; what do you mean? Are you serious? Are you even a mom? Will you take me with you? Here’s one that I just think is bullshit: mom boss. If you’re trying to tell me that you have it all together, you a lie and I can’t have that negativity in my life. Next we have strictly organic; the word organic intimidates me enough without you adding the word “strictly” to it. One I always pass up is the fitness fiend; how do you have time for that? I’m sweating bullets writing this post because I feel like there is a ticking time bomb in a rock n’ play across from me. The one I do not relate to whatsoever is adrenaline junkie because the only adrenaline I get or need is from my baby boy almost peeing in my mouth. Also, I like charitable – because how self righteous can you get?

It is almost insane how close to a dating app. it is. Some of the women are way too gorgeous for me. If we ever hung out, I’d feel like I need to put make up on and do my hair so I don’t feel like a total frump next to you – not good for the self esteem. I see a lot of professional pictures and I just do not think I have the class it takes to keep up with the Joneses. I’ve seen a few who have about 10 kids (complete exaggeration) and I don’t need to drink the water she’s been sippin’ on.

Most of these moms make it seem like everything is good & wonderful and I don’t want it. I need someone who’s bio is a little something like this: “I haven’t slept in weeks, breastfeeding is a bitch, I cry all the time, my husband is pissing me off, I drank a beer last night and got drunk, I accidentally dropped my child, my baby is 3 years old and I still wear my pregnancy clothing, and I haven’t left the house since I got back from the hospital.” Honestly, I want to be your friend if you are out there.

I’ve been getting messages and I never know what to say. It usually is something like: “Hey, you’re tired? Me too. Nice to know I’m not the only one, but we will probably never hang out because we are both so tired. Hang in there!” But, hey! I gave someone my number the other day, and I’m not going to lie – it felt weird. We are supposed to, get this, go to Target and get coffee. What is more “I don’t have a life because I’m a mom” than a mom date to Target? I am nervous though; my social skills are declining at a rapid rate because I am constantly around people who cannot speak in full sentences. However, I am embracing the hilarity of it all because being a mom is weird.

Also, sorry to all the spiritual gangsters, mom bosses, and charitable mamas out there for offending you. Do yo’ thang.